it is likely the oldest question (regarding) asparagus. how do you eat the thing politely in mixed company?

it seems all too obvious which end you start on, but would you slurp, bite, nip or, god forbid, suck? it is not usually a mouthful, so you wouldn't exactly nibble. i suppose you might respectfully chop it bite size, that would be alright, then again some company might think you timid or worse.

if the dish were to include potatoes, boiled ham, hard boiled egg and butter, my preference is for the chop in inch length. then quarter those tiny new potatoes and cut a couple fat rolls of boiled ham into slivers. the hard boiled egg would have been sliced into rounds and offered that way (in a considerate household), chopped garden chives might be available and all should be spread on a nicely heated plate, preferably a large one. now for the butter. technically it would be clarified and at hazelnut strength. but if the cook offered the stuff merely melted, i wouldn't complain. now, with everything in place, i'd whirl it all up into a delicate mess, gush it with butter and hold forth with my fork.